The Rat Pack
Posted by: Ed Chernoff
December 04, 2006

We are an eclectic bunch at Stradley, Chernoff & Alford. How the hell did we ever wind up together any way? Good question! It all started with Alan Baer and Ed Chernoff. They both spent their teen years in Hollywood, Florida. They went to the same High School in the late 70's. They graduated the same year. Yet, they never spoke. Perhaps because Alan was stoned all the time and Ed wasted his days writing poetry for disinterested cheerleaders. The story progresses.

Both Alan and Ed attended the University of Florida. They both pledged the same fraternity. Freaky coincidence perhaps, but neither one recognized it. Paradoxically they spoke only twice in their college years, though they lived three rooms away from each other in the fraternity house. The first time they spoke was at the introductory pledge meeting. Alan told Ed he looked familiar. Ed agreed. The second time they spoke was during hell week. Alan had just finished throwing up the beer that had been forced down his throat, and as he turned to Ed for compassion, Ed mentioned how ironic it was that Alan wanted to join a fraternity of men who so obviously enjoyed the pain they were inflicting upon him. Alan looked on dumbfounded, since Ed was quietly philosophizing while naked on his hands and knees. They didn't speak again for 12 years.

In 1984 both Alan and Ed went to law school in Houston Texas. Neither one had any idea. Eight years later they both wound up in County Criminal Court Number Twelve. Ed was in a jury trial, and Alan was babysitting a divorce client with the not to infrequent collateral issue of domestic violence. Alan thought he recognized Ed and so paid particular attention to the trial. As Alan watched, some crazy assed light bulb went off in his head. He can't exactly explain to you what he was thinking, but he knew absolutely that he wanted to change his life and join Ed in the practice of Criminal Law. No, I'm not making this up. Ask him.

Alan waited for a break during the trial and introduced himself to Ed. He got a card. The next day he asked for a job. Ed, who had just left the DA's office, was driving a 1970 Cutlass and living with a roomate on Westheimer. His student loans had been deferred for five years, which allowed him the five dollars a day he needed to buy beer and note pads. Ed didn't have sex because he couldn't afford condoms, so he absolutely had no ability to hire an associate. He made this perfectly clear to Alan, whose response was predictable. He had his wife call Ed. (to be continued)

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